Thank You, Jersey Shore

It is now unfortunately that time of year where a runner trying to meet his weekly mileage goals is faced with two choices:  hit the streets and risk frostbite, or hit the treadmill and risk death by shitty television.  And no matter how well prepared you are for the former, you'll inevitably spend plenty of time doing the latter. 

Running publications, including the latest issue of Runner's World, are chock full of tips on how to fight treadmill boredom during the winter months.  They usually recommend basic things like switching up the tempo and incline, or playing mental games with yourself during commercials ("every time I see an Enzyte commercial, I'll kick it up to 800m pace!").

I'm here to say forget all those things because I've found the best treadmill distraction ever - MTV's new show, Jersey Shore.  For those of you who haven't seen it yet, it's about a group of self-described "guidos" with fake tans and "guidettes" with fake breasts who are sharing a shit hole of a summer house on the New Jersey shore.  The guys spend more time on their hair than the girls, and the girls have to dress like strippers to distinguish themselves from the guys.  Then all they do is drink, go to clubs, try to get laid, and get in fights.  It's like Real World without the plot.

Now, I'm not going to argue this is Emmy-worthy television, but for the treadmill it's a godsend.  I can put my headphones in, turn this show on, and my brain immediately shuts off.  You know that feeling when you're talking and suddenly you have no idea what you were about to say?  You try and try to find it, but your brain suddenly feels devoid of sensation?  Well that's what happens when I turn on Jersey Shore.  Then magically an hour passes, the show ends, I wake up from my coma, and my workout is over.  And the best part is MTV replays it constantly, so no matter what time I work out I'm almost guaranteed to find this show playing.

So while I'm certainly not becoming a better person by watching this show, I have to say thank you MTV, thank you Mike "the Situation", and thank you Snooki, because your neanderthal antics might just make me a better runner!

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- Jake