Unfortunately that wonderful series of train wrecks ended some time ago, so I've been aimlessly searching for equally aimless shows to occupy my workouts. Fortunately, VH1 was nice enough to fill the void with Celebrity Rehab.
For those who aren't familiar, this is a weekly roundup of once-famous, whiny celebrity crackheads, who are thrown together in a rehab center in California under the watchful eye of Dr. Drew. Imagine Real World for ugly people, with less alcohol and more heroin, and with a babysitter.
Exhibit A, Dennis Rodman
The irony of the situation didn't fully sink in until the following "motivational quote" from Runner's World popped up in my inbox:
I do recommend running as a cure-all. It's the magic ingredient and an important physical release. It has helped me look and feel better.
Dr. Drew Pinsky, Addiction Specialist and TV Host
So here are a bunch of narcissistic addicts on TV, who have no regard for the people around them, as long as they can get their fix. And here I am spending hours on a treadmill, with no regard for the people around me, as long as I can get in my run (I laugh at your 30 minute limit!). And here's the doctor on TV, helping those addicts get through their addictions, by recommending my addiction as a cure! Bizarro world...
Maybe after Dr. Drew converts all these people to running-addicted zombies, he'll start a new rehab show, and I'll finally get my shot at stardom!
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